The Secret to Loving a Saint
by green eyed kittykat
Summary: Austin and her boyfriend just moved to Boston, and she meets two amazing boys. As Austin realizes that things in her life are changing, can she find a peace within herself and a place with the Saints
1. Chapter 1

Author note: hope you all like this, please tell me what you think, I enjoy knowing. I don't own anything but the plot and the characters you don't know from the movie

Austin Scott pulled open the last cardboard packing box and began unwrapping the many picture frame from there protective plastic wrapping. She smiled at the picture of her and James at the lake last summer. He looked so peaceful, so unlike his more recent attitudes. He was so angry, and upset. The smallest thing seemed to set him off. "It's just the stress of the move and everything that goes with this new job, what ever _it_ was." Austin tried to reassure herself of that fact. Even though she knew nothing of the new job James had decided to take, she knew the only place she wanted to be was with him. They'd been together for almost 5 years and Austin had enjoyed every minute of her life with James. Until last August, she though sadly as she placed the pictures on a newly installed shelf. It was then he came home from a business trip in Boston that he started acting different. He was jumpy and moody and yelled at her. He never yelled at her before that. And then last month when he was told her was transferring to Boston he was even worse. He actually hit her when they were packing, and the day before they left her threw a book at her. Now that they were in Boston, Austin was sure he would return to his old self. With this last box unpacked their new life in Boston was starting. Now all she needed was a trip to the store to fill the fridge so they could have a descent meal tomorrow instead of cold sandwiches. Grapping a coat and her keys Austin headed out the apartment door and into the cold March air.

Connor and Murphy were walking down the sidewalk on there way to McGinty's. It was kind of cold and they wanted to get to the bar as quickly as possible. Since Doc relocated, he had been really busy and had asked the boys to come help him out in the evenings. As they were walking Murphy looked across the street for what he could swear was only two seconds but when he turned his head back all he saw were two wide green eyes and then he abruptly ran into something very hard. "What the Fuck?" Connor reached out to steady Murphy as he looked down at the green eyed person on the sidewalk below him. She was gorgeous and she had this confused look on her face. Murphy immediately bent down and tried to pick up the groceries that were now spilled all over the sidewalk. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking. Are you ok?" The girl looked up and smiled. "I'm sorry too; I was just trying to get home in a hurry. I'm not use to living in such a big city. I'm Austin by the way, Austin Scott." "Murphy, and this is me twin brother Connor. Here let us help you, since it's our fault it's all on the ground. Ouch what the fuck Con? Why'd ya kick me?" Connor rolled his eyes. "It's your fuckin' fault, not mine. _I_ was watchin' were I walked." Austin laughed as Murphy blushed. After picking all the groceries up the boys, being gentlemen offered to walk Austin home. "Well this is me, thank you both. As she unlocked the door, she realized that James wasn't home. Seeing the downcast look on her face, Murphy immediately felt his stomach tighten, she looked so sad. "Hey you want to come to work with us. It could be fun." Austin's mind was turning, every sensible cell in her brain was telling her to stay home and wait for James. She barely knew these two guys, and she had no idea where they worked or anything. The lighter haired twin, Connor was saying something. "…it's just a bar down the street a ways. We'll be there to make sure no creeps try to hit on ya." It's just a bar, just a bar. Austin smiled, whether she would admit it or not, she felt drawn to these boys. And it would be nice to have some friends in town.

The bar in question was nice. There was a pool table and some dart boards. The room smelled of smoke and alcohol and it made Austin feel right at home. She and Connor sat down at the bar after he and Murphy both greeted the older man who she guessed owned the bar. Murphy jumped over the bar and got Connor a beer. "And what will the gorgeous lass have?" Austin had a challenging look in her eyes and her smile lit up her face. "Whadaya got behind this lovely bar of yours, anything tropical?" "I'll make ya anything you ask for luv, Doc'll serve a fruity drink to any girl that asks for one." "Hmm then I'll have an apple martini." Murphy smiled and turned around. Austin turned her attention to Connor. "So this is where the two of you work? Looks like a lot of fun." "We're only helping Doc, the owner, for a while until he can get some more permanent help. He's already got one waitress who's been here since before he relocated to this building. She'll probably be here in a little while." Austin looked around here. This place was so much like her home town. Some people might call it a little dumpy, but it was close-nit and people cared. "I love bars like this. I worked at one for a while when I turned twenty-one. My best friends aunt owned it and Britt and I worked there till I found out I was moving here." "Really, would you want to work here, I'm sure Doc would love your experience. I'll ask him" Connor left to go talk to the older man they had greeted at the other end of the bar. Murphy sat her glass down right as Connor was leaving. She eyed it warily. Then she took a sip. "Mmm, that is perfect. Very nice job, I was afraid I'd have to come over there and remake it." Murphy raised a questioning eyebrow at her. "Remake it? You would remake it?" Austin laughed, "Yea I'd remake it. As I was just telling your brother I worked at a bar for two years." "Really?" "Yep." Connor came over to them with a smile on his face "Hey Austin, Doc wants ta talk to ya."

"So my mom looked and me and was like, Austin Renee Scott, what where you doing in that shed, and I just told her that he swallowed my gum and I was trying to get it back." Austin smiled and sipped her martini. She had barely drank any of it all night. She was amazed at how easily she fit in with these Irish twins. They immediately took her in and she felt right at home. Looking down at her watch, Austin jumped up in shock, it was after 11. James would be worried about her. "Hey guys this has been great, but I really have to get home." The boys looked a little sad, but they understood. "We can walk ya home again, if ya want." Austin smiled, but declined. If James was worried he might not want to know that her new friends were male. She wrote her phone number in a napkin and gave it to Connor. "Can you give this to Doc? So he can get a hold of me about the job." "Sure. We'll see you later." Austin walked out the door and headed home. As her apartment building came into view, she could see the lights on in her and James's kitchen. She didn't even get her key in the keyhole when the door was thrown open. She looked up into James face expecting to so worry, but instead she saw anger. She smelt the alcohol on his breath as he grabbed her and roughly pulled her into the apartment. "Where the hell have you been?! I've been home for _three_ fucking hours and you weren't here!" He grabbed her arm tighter, not caring about the gasp of pain that escaped her lips or the tears that rolled down her face. "Where were YOU?!?" Austin was so scared, she couldn't answer. He slaps her across the face. "Answer me Austin. Where the fuck where you? Don't fuckin lie to me." Austin didn't recognize her voice "James, your hurting me, please stop." He let go but pushed her into a chair. "Where were you?" "I went grocery shopping, and you were still gone when I got back, so I went to this bar that I had seen on the way to the store. I was talking to some people there and I ended up getting a job interview with the owner. I lost track of time, or I would have been home hours ago. I'm so sorry James. I'm so so sorry." The tears just wouldn't stop falling. James just looked at her. "I'm going to bed. Make sure there's breakfast, I have to be at work by 7." And he just walked into the bedroom and locked the door. Austin fell off the chair and onto the floor. She curled her legs to her body and just sobbed. What happened to the man she was in love with?


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I don't own anything, except my ideas. Thanks for all of you who reviewed. And thanks megi. I love hearing your opinions. Enjoy.

It was still dark out when Austin woke up. She was still on the floor and her neck was sore. She got up and went into the kitchen. It was early but she knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Busying herself in the kitchen she decided to start breakfast and hope James was in a better mood when he woke up.

What to make to start off a good day? Waffles, blueberry waffles, they were James's favorite. Sitting down with a pile of waffles and a cup of coffee, Austin checked the time. She heard the alarm going off in the bedroom. She knew James would get up and go straight to the bathroom, so she had time to run downstairs and get a newspaper.

Once outside Austin took a deep breath, she had to remember the closest store or gas station where she could buy a paper. Walking down the street a ways she noticed a small grocery store she didn't remember seeing the day before. Crossing the street she saw the newspaper box right inside the door. She walked in and almost ran into a young woman with spiked brown hair. She recognized her from the bar last night. She couldn't remember the girls name though, so she didn't say anything. As the woman left, Austin got her paper and decided to grab some orange juice for breakfast. She paid the man at the counter and left.

As she entered the apartment she heard the shower turning off. Putting the juice in the fridge Austin sat back in her seat and opened the newspaper. The headline on the front page confused her yet drew her attention. _Saints Strike Again! _Austin has no idea who the saints where, but she decided to find out what they were doing in her new home. She was half way through reading about how three men had been going around killing all the scum of Boston. Austin almost felt pride in the fact that there were people out there who were trying to make the world a better place. Who ever these men were, they had her approval. As she folded the paper back up, James come in and sat down. He looked to be in a fairly good mood. She got up and got him a plate and a fork. "Good morning darling, would you like coffee this morning or orange juice?"

James smiled at her and kissed her hand as she sat his plate in front of him. "It's a cold morning, I think I'll take the coffee." Picking up the paper James scanned the headlines. His face fell a little at the front page. "Would you look at this Aust. These idiots think they can do what ever they want and no one will stop them. One of the guys at work was telling me about these jerks. They just go around killing who ever they want, doesn't matter if the guys are good or bad, they just kill anyone they don't like. It's so stupid. Mark my words on day the headline will be 'Saints Found Dead, Execution Style'."

Austin just smiled and set James's coffee in front of him. She had learned that expressing an opinion that was opposite of his would just lead to arguing. Rather than start the day off badly she decided to just keep her opinion to herself. Sitting across from him Austin just watched James eat. It made her remember the time when they snuck up to his uncles cabin for the weekend. They spent the night on the floor in front of the fireplace. They drank wine from the cellar and ate sandwiches. The next morning he made her pancakes and they went sledding. It had been an amazing weekend.

Austin was brought out of her memory by James placing a kiss on the top of her head and putting on his coat. She followed him into the living room. "Will you be home for lunch?"

"No, a few of the guys at work want to take me out." James decided not to mention where they might be going. He knew Austin wouldn't like the idea of him at Hooters with a bunch of single coworkers.

"Alright. I hope today goes well. Oh and I might be getting a call about that job, so if I'm gone when you get home, I might be at an interview."

"What job?"

"The job at the bar that I went to last night, I told you about it when I got home."

"Oh yea, I forgot, sorry baby." James pulled her into a hug and kissed her goodbye. With a slap on her butt he walked out the door.

Austin was sitting on the couch a few hours later when the phone when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"A-a-ustin Scott?"

"Yea."

"This is Doc, I was wondering if y-ya wanted to come over to the b-bar and help me unload some stuff, and m-maybe we could talk bout that interview."

"Sure, when would you want me there?"

"Would it be p-possible for you to be here in an hour?"

"Sure thing."

Austin was having a great time. Doc was a very funny man and he loved to tell her stories about the MacManus brothers and all the trouble they got into at his beloved bar. Putting the new stock away wasn't too hard, and Austin found that Doc wasn't a very organized man. As she worked she was unconsciously making plans in her head of ways to organize the bar a little better_. A few more shelves, maybe a filing cabinet or two, plus a small desk with an office chair instead of the broken, leaning table and the folding chair_. After unloading everything Doc asked her to come out to the main room.

"I was wonderin if you c-could make me a drink or something. I'm kinda thirsty after all that w-w-work." Doc really liked Austin, she seemed to be a hard worker, but if she was going to work in his bar, she would have to be able to make and serve drinks.

Austin sensed the challenge in the question and gladly accepted. She slid behind the bar and put on an apron. She looked around for a minute, taking in what all was there and where it was placed. "So what will you have sir?"

"I'll have a beer and then w-would ya make me a few of your favorite drinks?"

"Sure thing." Austin slid Doc his beer and then busied her self with the first drink. She decided to make four different drinks, one with vodka, one with tequila, one with rum, and the other with whiskey. First off a blue margarita, she prepped the glass and put it in front of Doc, mixed the ingredients and poured. "One Blue Margarita, hope you like it." Thinking of drinks she often had to serve back home Austin automatically mixed a perfect Sex on the Beach. "Try some Sex on the Beach." She smirked at the look Doc gave her and turned too decided on the next drink. _Maybe a Pina Coloda or a Corkscrew_? She decided on the Corkscrew, it took less time. Setting that down she turned one last time to make the last drink. Maybe instead of whiskey she should do something more traditional, like a martini. So Austin made a traditional martini and sat it down with a smile. She had been so busy she didn't notice that there was someone standing in the doorway. It was the woman she had almost run into that morning. She laughed and came and sat down. As she sat down Austin noticed her bright blue eyes, they seemed to stand out so much against her tanned face and short dark hair.

"Nice choice in drinks, I think I'll steal the margarita. I'm Rachel by the way, Rachel Morr. I'm Doc's bartender and waitress."

Austin was a little intimidated, but wanted to be polite. "I'm Austin Scott. I just moved here and was hoping to get a job."

"Just got a job, you mean." Rachel said with a smile. "Doc only asks girls for interviews if he's already decided he wants then to work."

"Really?" She had the job? Doc smiled and nodded his head and indicated that she should take one of the drinks. She grabbed the Sex on the Beach and took a drink.

"Ya can start toni-night if ya like. You keep all your t-tips and get $10 for every hour you work. You'll get your check every other F-Friday. I'll make up a contract for you tomorrow. Sound good?"

"Doc that sounds great. Thank you so much! I think I'm going to go get some lunch then come back, would that be ok?"

"Maybe we could go together." Rachel said. Not waiting for Doc's answer. "I'd like to get to know you better."

"Sounds good to me." Austin grabbed her coat and her and Rachel left to go eat.

James was out with his new co-workers, enjoying himself. He had expected them to go to a place like hooters, but they were just at a little diner. The guy beside him was his new partner, Alec Blake.

"So the boss said something about going on a little run after lunch, what's going on?" James was still learning his place and he knew he was expected to do something with this job, but he didn't know what. Alec just smiled as the guy across the booth answered.

"Boss has this annoying guy who lives a few blocks from here, owes him some big money. We, meaning Alec and me are going to get it, you are going to stay in the car and drive where we tell you too when we tell you too. Sound easy enough to you."

James just nodded, he wasn't sure if this was the kind of job he wanted, but his cousin needed him. His cousin Joey had called him, asking him if he could come help him with a family business that he had recently acquired. James didn't know Joey really well, they had lived far apart and his dad and Joey's mom didn't get along, but a lot of siblings are that way. James had always been told to help your family in any way you can, so he had agreed to help. Now he was living in Boston and had a job he was already starting to hate, but there was no way to just back out now. "When are we leaving?"

Alec smiled and slapped some cash on the table. "Let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

Austin's first night at the bar went better than she had expected. She felt so at home, and within the first hour the nervous feeling she had had was completely wiped away. The noisy bar was music to her ears, she was in her element and loved every second of it. She had learned that most of the bar's patrons preferred beer and whiskey to any of the drinks she made.

It was almost one when Doc started ushering people out the door into the street. Sighing with relief, Rachel went to the cash register and took about five dollars out. When Austin looked at her quizzically she just smiled and slid across the bar and went over to the juke box.

"Doc always lets us play a few songs while we clean up." Rachel said as she put the first bill in and punched some keys. Austin smiled and started wiping down the counter.

When they were almost done with the closing list the door opened. The MacManus brothers came in and sat down with smiles on there faces. "Hey Rach, can we get two beers, we're parched?"

Austin looked at Doc, rather confused. It was past closing and they come in asking for beer? Doc just laughed as Rachel gave the twins there beers. "The b-boy's are welcome in my b-bar anytime." Austin nodded and went to finish wiping down the tables. Looking at her watch she was shocked to see that it was already 1:30.

"It's really late, am I almost done?" James would be furious that she was out this late. She had to get home. She had to talk to him.

"Go ahead lass, we're pretty much done here and the b-boys can close up themselves if R-rachel doesn't stay."

"Thanks a lot." Austin grabbed her coat from the back room and was quickly on her way home.

James was at home furiously pacing the floors, he couldn't sleep. What kind of job had his cousin gotten him into? He thought he could handle what his cousin asked him to do.

_FLASHBACK_

James was sitting at a restaurant eating lunch during a break in his business trip to Boston. He was enjoying a sandwich as three people came in for lunch. At once he recognized one of the men. "Joey?"

The man looked at James with a blank expression, and then his face lit up as with recognition. "James, what a pleasant surprise. I never would have expected to see you in Boston."

"I'm on a business trip, I had forgotten that you moved back here or I would have given you a call that I was coming. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I would have been at the funeral, but my girlfriend was in a car accident the day before."

"I understand, and thank you, it's still hard to accept that he's gone. When do you leave?"

"Early tomorrow morning." James planned on spending the night at the airport, why waste money to be in a hotel for only a few hours.

"Why don't you come to my house for dinner tonight, we can catch up."

"Sure."

That night was a night James would never forget. Sitting in his cousin's office after dinner, he found out a family secret he never wanted to know. He was pretty sure Joey had had a little too much to drink, since he was openly talking about the secret.

"I took over the family business after Pop's died. It's probably the coolest job ever. I get what ever I want and no one, I mean no one says no to me."

"What family business? I've never heard anyone say anything about a family business."

"That's because it's a secret and they only family that know about it are the ones in on it. Your mom was never told because they didn't think she was strong enough to understand it. But I bet you are. Do you want to know the secret? Do you want me to tell you?"

"I don't know." James was really confused and kind pissed about Joey calling his mom weak, she had raised him practically by herself.

"I'll tell you, but if you tell anyone, anyone at all, I'll make your pretty little girlfriend disappear. Our Family's big secret is that we are part of the Italian mob. Dad was a big time boss till someone knocked him off and now I'm in charge. Uncle Louis works in New York and Grandpa Frankie use to be in charge in Baltimore. I love this job. Just last week I got over $20,000. It's great. You should try and get in on it. I could have you transferred here."

James's mind was going a crazy. He couldn't process what Joey was saying. His family, his own family were big shot mob members, and he didn't even know it. Why would he want in on that kind of stuff? He wasn't a bad person. "I don't know. I'm not sure I would be much help."

"I'll tell you what. You go back home and send me your resume and your boss's phone number and I'll see if I think I can use you. And remember this is a big secret, so if you tell anyone, I will make you wish you had never even been born."

_End Flashback_

So now James was trying to figure out what to do. This job was different from any other job he had ever had. It was exhilarating and heart pumping and it made his adrenalin pump through his veins so fast that he thought he would have a heart attack. But at the same time, it hurt him to know that he was hurting people. His morals were fighting inside of him and he couldn't control them. He was constantly telling himself that he wasn't the one holding the gun, so he wasn't responsible. He hated, yet loved this job, it gave him power, yet it caused him to be constantly battling himself. If only he could figure out a way to not feel so guilty. Going to the kitchen he found exactly what he needed: alcohol, and plenty of it.

James was halfway through a bottle of rum when Austin finally got home. He was so out of it he didn't even hear the door open. Austin just looked at him sadly and went to go get ready for bed. As she stepped out of the shower James was standing right in front of her with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Why do you hate me Aust? Why do you hate me?" He said in one of the saddest voices she had ever heard him use.

"I don't hate you James. I could never hate you." She smiled at him, trying to be reassuring. But he just looked even more upset and there was a hint of anger in his eyes. He took a step towards her and roughly grabbed her shoulders

"Don't lie to me!! You hate me because I dragged you here and you hate that I work all the time and you hate me, you hate me, you hate me!" With each accusation he shook her harder. She didn't know what to do. He wasn't usually like this when he drank, and he had never accused her of such things. With a final shake he pushed her away from him and walked out of the room. Austin felt her feet get caught in the towels on the floor and then she felt a throbbing pain in her side as she hit the tub. Naked and sobbing she sat on the floor, trying to figure out what had just happened.

When Austin woke up she was cold and he body ached all over. She couldn't figure out where she was at first. Then she realized she was in the bathroom. She wrapped a towel around herself and walked into the bedroom.

James was passed out in the floor beside the bed snoring loudly. The clock on the bedside table said that it was 6:00 in the morning. As Austin put her clothes on she saw that her side was already black and blue from the fall last night. She used to never bruise as a child yet now even the smallest thing seemed to give her a nasty looking bruise.

After dressing Austin went into the kitchen. Started the coffee and got out some cereal and made some toast. James wouldn't want a big greasy breakfast after all that alcohol last night. She also put a glass of water and some aspirin on the table. She wrote him a note saying she was going running, then grabbed her CD player and left.


End file.
